From Chaos to Calm: Meditation for Beginners

In 2016, I faced an incredibly stressful period in my life. I was battling to save my failing marriage, navigating a toxic work environment, and providing support to my mentally ill mother from a distance, being her sole family member and only child. Reflecting on this time, I can still feel the physical manifestation of that stress and pressure.

However, amidst the turmoil, I found beauty and transformation. The adversity prompted me to explore meditation, which became a pivotal tool for stress relief and self-reflection, enabling me to view my circumstances, emotions, and beliefs more objectively. Daily meditation provided a much-needed pause for my nervous system, facilitating a shift from a state of constant threat to one of safety.

Over the years, my meditation practice has evolved, offering not only stress relief but also numerous other benefits:

·       Quieting my mind and filtering out the noise

·       Differentiating my emotions and thoughts from those of others

·       Enhancing my intuition and providing valuable insights

·       Cultivating mental discipline in a gentle manner

·       Allowing my "thinking mind" to rest, increasing bodily awareness

·       Diminishing the impact of intense emotions and traumatic memories

·       Bolstering my overall mental health by reducing anxiety and depression

·       Reinforcing the understanding that while our thoughts influence our reality, they do not define us

I firmly believe that meditation can benefit everyone, potentially leading to a more peaceful, inclusive, and loving world.

It's clear that the concept of meditation isn't novel. The internet is packed with resources on its benefits and various techniques. However, for those curious about integrating meditation into their lives, I offer my perspective.

Understanding that our minds naturally resist the stillness required for meditation is crucial. Our minds are akin to a "monkey mind," restless and chaotic by nature. It's important to recognize that meditation isn't about stopping your thoughts but learning to observe them without attachment or reaction.

It is important to accept that you cannot simply "stop thinking" when you meditate. With practice, however, you can learn how to observe your thoughts instead of being attached to them or reacting to them.

For beginners, I suggest the following steps to start your meditation journey:

1.     Wear comfortable clothing to avoid physical distractions.

If you are restricted or feel any physical discomfort, it will lessen the quality of your experience.

2.     Consider using a candle or incense to enhance the atmosphere.

I find that adding an aromatherapy aspect to my practice (either through incense or grounding essential oils) helps me get into a calm mindset.

3.     Choose a timer that suits you, like a meditation app or a simple kitchen timer.

Smartphone apps, particularly those tailored for meditation, are widely favored. Insight Timer ranks as my personal favorite. However, for those aiming to minimize distractions, opting out of electronic devices is advisable. In such cases, a simple wind-up kitchen timer serves perfectly.

4.     Find a quiet, safe space where you won't be disturbed.

This can be anywhere where you feel safe. Going outdoors is a great option.

5.     Sit in a comfortable position that allows for a straight back and the feeling of being grounded.

Choose to sit on the floor or in a chair. Meditation experts have long debated the correct sitting posture, but from my perspective, comfort trumps perfection. Seek a position that ensures your feet or buttocks are firmly grounded, supports a straight and upright back, and makes you feel secure and at ease. Place your hands on your thighs or lap - wherever they are the most comfortable.

For those facing physical limitations, such as inflexibility, discomfort, or injuries, I recommend beginning in a chair that offers a straight back and is cushioned for added comfort.

6.     Prepare your space, light your candle, and get comfortable.

Creating an elaborate setup isn't necessary. A simple seating arrangement with a candle placed before you suffices. Ultimately, the only essential element is yourself!

7.     Take deep breaths to center yourself before starting.

Settle into your chosen position and take several deep breaths. Aim to fully exhale, emptying your lungs completely before each inhalation. I usually do this for about 30 seconds, extending the time if I'm feeling particularly stressed.

8.     Set your timer for two minutes. Yes, just two minutes.

9.     Relax and observe your thoughts without judgment during the meditation.

Ease into relaxation, gently soften your gaze, and embrace the experience with an open mind. As thoughts emerge, acknowledge their presence without engaging in analysis, judgment, or rejection. Simply observe them, allowing each thought to transform and dissolve naturally.

10.  When the timer ends, conclude with gratitude for the experience.

Initially, you might encounter a spectrum of feelings, ranging from awkwardness to boredom. However, dedicating two minutes each day to practice for a couple of weeks could transform your experience. The initial week often proves challenging—I myself felt foolish, at times merely drowsy, questioning the value of my efforts. Yet, perseverance bears fruit; by the third week, I noticed a significant shift towards tranquility in those brief sessions.

Once establishing a routine of two-minute sessions, you're encouraged to gradually extend the duration. For beginners, it's advisable to avoid starting with lengthy meditations, as sessions exceeding 15 minutes can prove daunting and potentially undermine your practice.

Here’s a suggested progression:

Day 1-14:          2 mins

Day 15-30:        5 mins

Day 31-45:        8 mins

Day 45-60:        10 mins

Day 60+                        12-15 mins

Research suggests that a 12-minute meditation session is optimal for reaping its full benefits. However, it's crucial to discover a duration that feels right for you. Whether that's 5 minutes or more, honor your personal needs and preferences. Importantly, resist letting the opinions, advice, or instructions of others negatively impact your practice. Yielding to external judgments can foster self-criticism and a sense of inadequacy, which are counterproductive. Remember, the objective is to acknowledge your own strength and ability to determine what best supports your well-being.

As you persist in your practice, you'll notice a transformation in your mental processes. The once chaotic "monkey mind" will gradually quiet down, leading to fewer intrusive thoughts. This change makes it simpler to observe your thoughts without becoming entangled in them.

But what if mediation isn't for you? That's okay!

The diversity of human experiences, personalities, and interests means meditation isn't for everyone. For those looking to enhance their self-connection yet feel hesitant about meditation, I suggest exploring the following alternatives to see if any align with your preferences.

·       Take a leisurely walk outside, free from the distractions of music or podcasts. Make it extra special by choosing a special location, such as a garden, forest path, or picturesque route.

·       Journal openly about your emotions, challenges, and aspirations. Allow your thoughts to flow freely, avoiding the impulse to edit or craft a story.

·       Enjoy a lengthy, warm bath with products that foster a sense of grounding, safety, and comfort. I prefer a mix of Epsom salt and essential oils like lavender, ylang-ylang, and patchouli. Experiment with different blends, ensuring they're properly diluted to prevent skin irritation, especially for those with sensitive skin. While I adore the fragrance of tea tree oil, a single drop can provoke skin reactions.

·       Dive into motivational literature or spiritual texts to spark reflection and gain new insights. Enhance the atmosphere by lighting a fire or candle, wrapping yourself in a warm blanket, and possibly playing some soothing music or natural sounds.

·       Engage in restorative yoga. This style is welcoming for all, regardless of yoga proficiency, promoting profound relaxation. It's akin to combining the benefits of a rejuvenating nap with a gentle, comforting massage for your body.

Whether through meditation or alternative methods, the goal is to find peace and joy in your journey toward self-discovery and connection.